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Feeling depressed after an hour of browsing the internet? Is the wrist of your right hand paining every time you get up from your computer? Beware; you might be suffering from Browser’s Carpal Syndrome.

Researchers and psychiatrists at Zeal Unfocusd Inc. have discovered this startling and manic depressive and personality syndrome that many internet surfers suffer from. The syndrome is triggered by excessive clicking of the mouse on the left side navigation menu using the right hand.

Scientific Reasons

As a Browser, you may find it most comfortable to find the navigation menu of any webpage on the left hand side and most of the browsers are right handed. But this is the most detestable thing for your brain because it creates an oculo-motor conflict in the Central Carpal of the Cerebellum. When the eye is looking to the left, the neuro-transmitters produce oxitocin, a hormone that activates the left side of the body. But when you are using right hand to click on the left visible image in your brain, the oxytocin is in conflict with neurotocin, the right side enabling motor hormone. And the resulting conflict puts the central carpal under stress and the carpal goes into temporary hibernation. Since carpal is a depression creating part of the brain, it naturally numbs the activity of brain to protect it from the onslaught conflict.

Result

As a result, when we are happily clicking away on the outside, we are growing number and depressive by the moment on the inside and we have triggered the Browser’s Carpal Syndrome.

Symptoms

The symptoms of the syndrome include depression (ranging from very mild to manic), nausea, numbness, sleepiness or sleeplessness, body pains especially the knees and right wrist, a sensation of numbness in the neck, weightlessness. Severe cases include vomiting, indigestion and manic depression that could lead to suicidal thoughts and actions.

Doctors say the only way to prevent the syndrome is to avoid browsing sites with left menu or if you are a left hander then avoid right menu web pages.a

So next time you see a left menu website, you better think twice before clicking!

Note: All of the above is humbug, rattails, mudgulley, claptrap and scientific horse puckey. So you cannot sue me! Ha ha ha!

Get all the TV channels in the world and Hi-speed internet free for a lifetime! Unbelievable, but true. Zeal Unfocussd Inc. has released yet another life-enriching product for the world. UNITENNA v0.3, meaning universal antenna version 0.3, would make life very economical for you.

This powerful antenna can capture any television transmission and ultra speed internet. This is made possible by the breakthrough innovation in technology by Zeal Unfocussd Inc. The mother of all antennas, Unitenna v0.3 is made of a very special combination of alloys; it comes with a special fukkem plated assui-sodomee rods that can attract waves of all lenghts from sources as far as the satellites orbiting in space!

Priced at a throwaway rate of 3$ and 13 cents per Unitenna, the installation is also extremely simple. All you have to do is place the antenna over your computer or television monitor and face the fukkem plated rods towards east. And simply sit back and enjoy high-speed internet and all the world channels including those 24/7 high quality porn channels absolutely free!

Zeal Unfocusd Inc has now entered the area of web logistics with its latest release of website-to-website transportation service.

Byte Logistica 2.4beta will change the way you navigate on the web. No more stressful journeys from one website to another. With the Byte Logistica 2.4beta your navigation has become smooth and extremely comfortable. A small installation file is all that you need to buy from Zeal Unfocusd Inc. Whenever you are leaving any website and opening another site all you have to do is press cntrl+alt+abc and presto Byte Logistca’s newest vehicle will pick you up and drop you at the website you want. Since the vehicle is digital, it does not consume any fuel; just a few bytes of your hard disk.

Byte Logistica 2.4beta also caters to your digital shifting purposes. If you are bored with your old website and want to shift all your content to a new location on a new server, well, you know the magic key combination – cntrl+alt+abc and lo, the best transportation for your shifting needs is on your desktop. The inbuilt program will pack the contents of your website and cleanly unpack it at your new server. It doesn’t forget even one css file. Every byte is transferred.

Byte Logistica is uses a powerful patented combination of matrix algorithms and complex integral algebra to make this digital wonder possible. So make sure you use its full potential!

Ever heard of Coffee being served on the websites! Sounds weird? But with the ground-breaking advances in JAVA by Zeal unFoCusd Inc, their latest web product release Web Mocha 1.0e will do exactly that.

You can now visit any of the websites that Zeal unFoCusd has tied up with and with a couple of clicks hot steaming coffee is served right there on the site. And you don’t even have to tip the server!

Zeal has already entered into strategic revenue sharing partnerships with the biggies in the web industry and most of your free mail providers have already installed widgets into their pages. And whats more, Zeal has offered an initial free registrations for bloggers and you can serve coffee to your visitors on your blog.

There have been certain stray reports of bugs in the beta version like coffee spilling on the trousers of laptop users and Zeal has already announced a cautionary warning to laptop users to avoid placing their machines on their laps after ordering coffee.

Zeal is currently negotiating to tie-up with major online money transfer services to offer cards to users so they could carry it along and have coffee at any time of the day and in any part of the world!

Zeal says it is planning to offer a small downloadable program in their second version that when installed would allow them to serve coffee direct to the desktop of the users. Let’s hope Web Mocha would soon let us have even pizzas and burgers on any website!